Etiquette Report

Greeting Strangers (socially)


Malaysians tend to be fairly conservative in their approach to their social customs and practices, particularly when in public. You should respect any formal hierarchy or seniority that becomes evident to you. Family is central to Malaysian life. The senior family members should be treated with honour and esteem all the time. It is not uncommon to see younger people bowing their heads as a sign of respect when passing by an older person. Challenging a figure of authority, in public, would be regarded as completely improper etiquette, and would most likely render you utterly disrespectful and dishonourable in the eyes of your Malaysian counterparts.

When greeting a stranger socially you start with the higher ranking people or older people should be introduced first, followed by women and men. The traditional greeting is done by with a bow and then you must place your right hand on your chest. The western women are supposed to greet Malay men with a nod of their head and a smile. As you enter, leave a place or pass by someone, you should be giving a moderate bow, which politely excuses you past them.

Malays do not appreciate display of affection in public places. Touching someone from the opposite sex is also avoidable. The head is considered to be the home of the human soul; therefore you should not touch another person’s top portion of their head.

As an extension to the need to maintain harmonious relations, Malaysians rely on non-verbal communication like facial expressions, tone of voice, body language. Malays may hint at a point rather than making a direct statement, since that might cause the other person to lose face. Rather than say "no", they might say, "I will try", or "I’ll see what I can do". This allows the person making the request and the person turning it down, to save their face and maintain a harmony in their relationship.

If you are unsure about the affirmative response you received, you may want to continue the discussion, re-phrasing the question in several different ways so that you may compare responses. If the response was given because the Malaysian did not know how to respond in the negative without causing offense, this may come out. Alternatively, they may have someone else give you the bad news.

Silence is an important element of Malaysian communication. Pausing before responding to a question indicates that they have given the question appropriate thought and considered their response carefully. Many Malaysians do not understand the Western propensity to respond to a question hastily and can consider such behaviour thoughtless and rude.

Malaysians may laugh at what may appear to outsiders as inappropriate moments. This device is used to conceal uneasiness. Malaysians do not show anger in public as it makes as it makes the Malaysians uncomfortable and creates a feeling of powerlessness. There is a greater chance of achieving a good outcome id you are calm, whereas little is resolved by shouting.

Malaysian men and women can be addressed by their first names. For instance, Amirul bin Yusof should be addressed as Mr Amirul and not Mr Yusof, as the latter is his father’s name. The term Bin means ‘son of’ and binte means ‘daughter of’. Hence, they need not be mentioned.

Greeting Strangers (business)

Within the business context most Malaysian businesspeople are culturally-savvy and internationally exposes. Your experience may very well depend upon the ethnicity, age, sex and status of the person you are meeting. The best approach is always friendly yet formal. Initial greetings should be formal and denote proper respect. If in a team, introduce the most important person first. Many Malays are uncomfortable shaking hands with a member of the opposite sex, which is why you should always wait for a Malaysian woman to extend her hand. Foreign women should also wait for a Malaysian man to extend his hand.

It is important that professional titles (professor, doctor, engineer) and honorific titles are used in business. Malays use titles with their first name, rather than their last.

Business Card Etiquette

Business cards are exchanged after the initial introductions. If you will be meeting government officials, have one side of your card translated into Bahasa Malaysia. Use the right hand only to exchange business cards. Examine any business card you receive before putting it in your business card case. The respect you show someone's business card is indicative of the respect you will show the individual in business. Act accordingly. It is also important that you never write on someone's card in their presence as it is a sign of disrespect.

Business Meetings

It is a good idea for the most senior person on your team to enter first so that he or she is the first to greet the most senior Malaysian. This gives face to both parties as it demonstrates respect towards the Malaysian and shows that you respect hierarchy within your company. It is customary for leaders to sit opposite each other around the table. It is also a good idea to have your team seated in descending rank. There will be a period of small talk, which will end when the most senior Malaysian is comfortable moving to the business discussion. Meetings may be conducted or continue over lunch and dinner. Meetings, especially initial ones, are generally somewhat formal and are the most important. Treat all Malaysian participants with respect and be cautious not to lose your temper or appear irritated. At the first meeting between two companies, Malaysians will generally not get into in-depth discussions. They prefer to use the first meeting as an opportunity to get to know the other side and build a relationship, which is essential in this consensus-driven culture.

Dining Etiquette

When dining in a restaurant it is perfectly acceptable to eat with your fingers using your right hand only. Malays only use their right hand to eat, pass, tough or handle anything. They never use their left hand to eat as it is seen as very bad etiquette. This is because the left hand is reserved for bathroom-related purposes, so to be seen eating with your left hand you would be thought of as dirty and uncivilized.

When someone gets their food, they always wait until everyone gets theirs before they start to eat. The first thing they will do is cut their food into bite size pieces. They hold their spoon in there right hand and the fork in their left hand. When finished their meet they will put their fork and spoon on their plate. Drinks are not served before dinner and are to be accepted with both hands.

When invited into a Malaysian family home for dinner, it is customary to always bring a small gift for your host or hostess. Remembering that you should offer your gift with your right hand and you should receive any gifts with your right hand.

It is also really important that you dress well, and greet your hosts with a handshake, followed by placing your right hand over your heart. When entering a Malaysian house, it is expected that you remove your shoes.

Shopping and Bargaining

Bargaining in the shopping malls is not acceptable. If you do buy a lot they will usually throw in some freebies or give you a discount. Normally the prices at the shopping malls are usually more than the markets.

On the other hand bargaining at the markets is seen as normal social etiquette. The best way to shop is to look around first and check out the prices. You will most likely find that there is more than one place that sells the same product. The best tip is to decide first what you are willing to pay. When you first ask the price it will be far inflated, and as a rule of thumb expect to pay around ¼ to ½ of what the vendor first asks. By asking the price you are showing an interest to buy. If you then ask what is there best price for the item this will then normally be seen as the start of the bargaining process. Remember to be polite and never just walk away as it is seen as bad etiquette. Bargaining in Malaysia is a game. For example if the vendor asks for $100, and if about half the price is what you are prepared to pay, then offer them 20. They may offer 95, so you offer 25. Then you too and fro with figures until you meet somewhere at the 30-50 mark, which is around what you wanted to pay in the beginning.

10% service charge and 5% government tax are usually included in bills. Taxi drivers do not expect tips.

Dressing in Public

In public the Muslim women wear garments that fully cover their bodies. The usage of head scarves is also common. Visitors are encouraged to take note of local sensitivities and dress modestly, especially women. So in other words mini skirts and crop tops are not acceptable as proper etiquette when in the public eye. Women should wear long sleeved blouses with long skirts or preferably pants. You should never where yellow as it is reserved for royalty.

Religious Observations

If you are visiting any religious sites it is important dress appropriately. Make sure that you wear long sleeve shirts and long pants. If you are a female you may also have to wrap a scarf around your head. When entering a temple it is important that you remember to remove shoes. You must be polite at all times, especially to the Malaysian elders.